Avoiding INFJ Overwhelm and Stress

INFJ Overwhelm

INFJ overwhelm is a real thing. It affects similar personality types as well, and may also include highly sensitive individuals. I understand that most people experience overwhelm at one time or another in their lives, but some of us experience it so often, that it feels like a part of daily life.

Chronic stress and worry can also come into play for us. We like to have things done a certain way and we like to know what to expect.

Planning is a natural tool we use to make sure we’re not blindsided. It’s how we try to control our environment. When we don’t, we get stressed out, which can lead to a feeling of anxiety or overwhelm.

Feeling overwhelmed is part of being human, but in this day and age, it’s more of an epidemic. We’re attached through technology to the outside world more than ever before, and our introversion is bombarded daily. This causes an almost constant background stress for us.

INFJs Coping Under Extreme Stress

All personality types lean on their Inferior Process when they’re under extreme stress, and for the INFJ, this inferior process is called Extroverted Sensing. It’s our most underdeveloped function.

The Sensing process is opposite our Intuition, so it is an uncomfortable and unfamiliar place for us to be, since it’s more tangible, factual, and specific. Then, why would we go there? Probably because we have exhausted our Dominant (intuition) and Auxiliary (feeling) processes, so we go to our inferior function.

It’s not so much a choice as it is an unconscious reaction.

This will feel out of character for us, as we will likely become obsessive and may focus on self-destructive behavior, like obsessing over details, or over indulging in food, TV, drinking, etc.

Our inferior process is a bit childish, as I’m sure you’ve already discovered, but it is something that can be developed over time, especially as we get older.

INFJ Overwhelm & Anxiety

I have a lot to do, but when I’m being pulled in so many different directions, it becomes difficult to keep my life, tasks, and mind organized. Being an INFJ inhibits my ability to be casual or nonchalant when it comes to certain things, as my expectations of myself are quite high.

To most Judging personality types, including the INFJ, chaos is not something to thrive in, but something to avoid. This is not always possible, but in the true spirit of my personality type, I try to organize it. When this doesn’t work, and it becomes too much to contain, I feel overwhelmed. This is when things go south, if I don’t intervene quickly. My mood will shift, anxiety sets in, and I can become turbulent, at best.

Stemming from my introverted side, the other half of my overwhelm usually comes from situations where I feel intensely uncomfortable. It can be anything from being asked to socialize with unfamiliar people (small talk, awkwardness), being in a large crowd, or something as simple as having to pick up the phone.

For example, I rarely get my hair done because I’m confronted with chatty strangers for too long.

I am slowly learning how to cope with this type of stress and anxiety. The hardest part is putting on the brakes before I panic, but if  I do, I remember that there are things I can do to calm myself down.

Stress, anxiety, and INFJ overwhelm are all temporary, which helps me to know that everything will, eventually, be okay.

Managing Acute INFJ Stress

Walking away from whatever is overwhelming you and, instead, focusing on something that is fun, relaxing, or therapeutic is the first rule of combatting stress. Self-talk also helps me in acute situations. Also, consider ditching the caffeine…it just adds to anxiety, stress, and disrupts your sleep (sleep is sacred). It’s counter intuitive to a relaxed state of mind.

Here are some self-care ideas I do when I feel that INFJ overwhelm take over, or I start to feel really stressed out.

  • I walk away for awhile.
  • A 10 minute meditation does wonders.
  • I talk to my husband or close friend.
  • I do 10-15 minutes of yoga stretches.
  • Turning on some soothing music helps me a lot.
  • I turn my focus to reading or a loved hobby.
  • Exercising vigorously for anxiety or mildly for relaxation.
  • Practice my deep breathing (may include meditation).
  • I schedule a massage (long or short, based on how I’m feeling).
  • I write just for for fun – no rules (poems, journal).
  • Taking a long hot bath or shower to relax and ease muscles.
  • Watching something funny or uplifting changes my mood.
  • Sometime I just need to spend a little time with my family.
  • Hiking or going for a long walk to clear my mind.
  • For a longer break, a day trip might be in order.
  • Looking through some old photos makes me feel at ease.
  • I like to snuggle up with my introverted cat, which feels good.
  • Sometimes I just take a deep breath and count it out.

I hate to state the obvious, but life is going to happen, and the stress, anxiety, or overwhelm is temporary….optional, even. We can work and have a home life, and do it in a way that makes sense for us, and is intentional.

The goal here is to focus on your priorities while still supporting ourselves. I find that as I get older, my priorities tend to shift towards self-care, family time, and new goals to reach.

What about you? How to prevent stress or handle INFJ overwhelm  or anxiety when you’re “in the grip” and dealing with the “have-to’s” of life?

Tea & ♥,

10 comments

  1. Thank you EVER so much for making the effort to articulate your insights!
    They have fed me when I was hungry and searching for food.
    Thank you for being who you are :).

  2. I’m a lady in my 60’s & despite being in therapy with a psychologist for almost 40yrs l never understood my weird personality. I am a INFJ.
    Thank you for insight. I’m so glad l’m not alone in this!8am

    1. Hi Mary! I’m so glad I’m not alone, too. 🙂 Thank you for visiting my site. I hope to see you again!

  3. Hi, I’m an INFJ too, and this post is very informative, thank you. Also thank you for taking time to record them. I think your are doing a historical work, for fellow INFJs who need a lot of information to deal with their weird personality.

  4. I recently came into the know that I had a INFJ personality. This has been super helpful and accurate. Thank you so much.

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